Holy goddamn did 2020 fucking blindside me.
And I feel like I got off easy, to be honest.
Anxiety was the biggest problem that year. It sent me to the emergency room with what I thought was a fucking heart attack. Continues to give me pain in my chest that makes me wonder, almost every day, “All those other times obviously weren’t heart attacks, but is this one? Is this the one that kills me?” Headaches that had me wondering for a month “So do I have a fucking brain tumor?” Still not sure about that one, as the headaches have come back just recently. Stomach problems. A lot of stomach problems.
I also had a brutal tooth infection that led to an abscess that ultimately culminated in two root canals.
Plus, had a scare with COVID at the very end of the year there that, thank fucking God, turned out okay. Although now some people close to me actually do have it, and I’m not sure how that’s going to turn out.
So it ain’t over yet.
But from where I’m standing right now, I feel pretty okay. Like a storm has passed, and now it’s the calm after the storm. That strange, quiet peace where you’re just happy to be alive and basically functional. It feels good.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s discuss writing.
FAN FICTION
So, readers, I’m sorry about the sorry state of fan fiction over the last year. My output was shit, and I’m honestly just depressed that I didn’t really finish a damn thing this year. I shockingly overestimated my abilities in the last Near & Far Horizon. Just looking back at that time, I set out a fairly meager set of goals, and couldn’t even accomplish a single one of them.
Like………damn.
2020 just fucking sucked.
But I’m really hoping to get things back on track this year. Simply because I enjoy indulging in talking about my ideas and plans, let’s go over stuff again. Not much has changed, but some has.
—CLASSIC HALO UNIVERSE—
NERVES OF STEELE: Hot damn did I drop the ball on this one! I’m going to try very hard to get back to it this year, I promise! I at least want to get Episode One wrapped up.
THE WILL TO LIVE: Same thing here. I lost a lot of motivation, found it, lost it again, pushed on regardless. It’s definitely getting done, and during the first quarter. As soon as I wrap up the current Part of The DOOM Chronicles, I’m working on this story until it is finished. Then I’m putting this series to sleep for awhile.
TRUE TERROR: I had genuinely hoped to get to this one last year, and I really want to this year, but between wrapping up the two previous entries, I think there just might not be time for more Halo in 2021. Not unless I manage to really get with the program. Hey, maybe I will. But I honestly need to write something that is not DOOM, nor Halo, in 2021.
OTHER: As I’ve mentioned, I’ve got a few other ideas that are pretty different than the ones above. Well, one is. One is so different from everything else I’ve written, I’m not sure if I’ll actually do it. But regardless, these are a long ways off, and not all that important to the overall universe. Just side projects.
—NOVELIZATIONS—
THE DOOM CHRONICLES: Man did I shit the bed on this one. Should’ve been WAY closer to done by now, but it’s not even half finished, and I had like 13 months to make this happen, considering I started back in December of 2019. At present, I’m trying to shotgun Part Three with Kyra right now. I managed to put together a few chapters last month, so I’d say I’m about halfway there or so. I’m really hoping to get this done in January, maybe February at the latest.
ROCK RAIDERS: Still want to do this. Someday. Not really a priority though, as much as I like the idea.
THE THING & STATE OF DECAY: As I said last year, maybe someday. Maybe. Honestly though, with just how much other material I have, might be a long, long, LONG while, if ever.
AREA 51: So I began doing a retrospective on my fan fiction career. (Check it out here, it’s still in progress, though.) And in doing so, I stumbled across a handful of ideas that are still kinda cool and appealing. One that won’t leave me alone is a novelization of the Area 51 franchise. I use that term loosely, considering it was a pair of light gun arcade games, one moderately cool Xbox title, and one godawful 360 title that ultimately killed it. So I don’t know. We shall see.
OTHER: So I might end up abandoning the Unreal II novelization. I still think it’s a cool game, but I think enough time has gone by that it doesn’t quite appeal to me anymore. But someday, I’ll fire the game up again one more time and see how it makes me feel. I’m pretty confident I’ll just do one Red Faction fan fiction and leave it at that. Still think Red Faction is cool, and a great series, but definitely I’ve lost most of the urge to novelize the whole series. The Suffering, on the other hand…I played through it again just recently, and realized yeah, I still really want to novelize it. That’s gonna be a cool-ass trilogy. I might still novelize F.E.A.R. as well, though after F.E.A.R. Files it would twist off into its own thing, as I didn’t really like 2 & especially 3. Other than that? Nothing else on the horizon right now.
—HλLF-LIFE—
BISHOP’S LAMENT: Definitely going to try and fit this in this year. It’s been too long since I came back to Half-Life. I actually got really close to starting this up during a time of, shall we say, creative desperation. Fired up Half-Life 2 and broke out the database and everything. So yeah, this is on the horizon.
—KOTOR—
AND THERE WAS ANOTHER II: Still plan to do this, probably make it a trilogy. This one has been bugging me off and on lately, but there’s just no time for it. Not yet.
KOTOR III: Same story as before. Like I said last year, this is gonna be a big one. A really big one. But later.
—OTHER—
OBSIDIAN CLASSICS: So I basically got rid of Obsidian Classics and just moved them to Other. From now on, Obsidian Classics will just refer to my Rookie Chronicles series.
RED FACTION - HUNTER’S WAR: Still plan to do this. Basically a rewrite of one of my very first fan fictions. Takes place during original Red Faction, follows a miner named Hunter with a brutal past seeking survival and maybe even redemption.
FROZEN FURY: Formerly The Sion Campaign. I fired up Quake 4 for the first time in probably a solid 2 years last month, and found that I still think it’s pretty cool, and I want to write about it. Even made a dope cover for it. So this one is still on the table.
AVP TRILOGY: On the fence about this one. I used to be super into Aliens and Predator, but it’s kinda faded. This is more a ‘we’ll see how I feel about it when I step up to the plate to try and write it’ kind of situation.
DREARY: I intend to post the 2013 rewrite of my very first fan fiction this year, soon actually.
OBSIDIAN SUN RISING: Technically a rewrite of technically my first fan fiction, written five or so months before Dreary in 2003. Originally titled A SHADOW OVER LYLAT. I’ve reserved that title for another project further down the line. Still intend to do this, just need to find time for it. It’s gonna be a long one, an epic action-horror.
TECH-COMM OUTPOST #17: The Terminator fan fiction. Still plan to give this one a shot, especially after playing Terminator: Resistance. That’s a surprisingly cool game.
OTHER: So those are the big ones. The ones I’m fairly confident about. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve got ideas kicking around that I may get to someday.
GEARS OF WAR: Definitely wanna do a series set alongside the Gears of War games with original protagonists.
DEAD SPACE: Definitely want to do something in Dead Space. As I think I’ve mentioned before, I’ve got a notion to write one story that introduces a new protagonist during Dead Space 2, and then that protagonist becomes the protagonist in a re-imagining of Dead Space 3, and beyond.
PERFECT DARK: I go back and forth on this one, but I just found out they’re bringing it back?! Crazy to think. I’m very curious to see how it turns out, but I don’t think they can recapture the magic. I still think this new game could be good, great even, but it won’t be Perfect Dark. I honestly feel like that game was lightning in a bottle, and what made it special simply can no longer be captured in the 2020s.
BUZZ LIGHTYEAR: As I mentioned last year, I rediscovered an old Buzz Lightyear fan fiction I started writing in like 2007. Still looked pretty cool, actually. Maybe someday.
KILLZONE: So this is a new one. I replayed Killzone last year, the HD version, and although I think it did not age well, it did give me a strong idea for a survival-horror fan fiction set in that universe. I even made a cover for it.
WOLFENSTEIN: Also new. I was going through Wolfenstein 2009 again, and I still love the shit out of that game. It made me strongly want to write a fan fiction for it, so much so I also made a cover for it. (You can find these on my Facebook.) Again, maybe someday.
HALO TRILOGY: As I mentioned last year, I got a cool idea for a sequel trilogy to the original Halo Trilogy that isn’t part of my Classic Universe. Maybe I’ll still do this someday.
That’s it, really. Those are the big ones. Ideas come and go. I briefly toyed around with writing a fan fic for Far Cry - Primal. I fucking love that game. But I’m not sure if it’s in the cards. Again, we’ll see. Someday, I want to get to the point where I’m so caught up, I can actually indulge and write something brand new for a brand new game if the urge so strikes me. Not sure if I’ll ever get there, though.
ORIGINAL FICTION
Unfortunately, I don’t have too much to say on this one. I suspected that starting Kane’s War last year was a pipe dream, and yep, it was. Almost is for this year, too.
Other ideas have been calling to me, though. But again, it’s a matter of time and energy.
That being said, I spent some time combing through my old databases one more time, as there was a lot of stuff in there I kind of just tossed aside to be sorted through later. I’ve got a handful of things that I wrote before The Shadow Wars that I still think are good enough to be seen by readers. So I’ve decided I’m going to slightly polish up and edit a handful of select titles and release them, either individually or as a collection, this year on WattPad. It’ll be going on in the background, and I also intend to create Kindle/PDF versions of them as Patreon bonuses, and also to revamp my Patreon at least a little, in case people want to do that.
I doubt I’ll honestly have time to get to something original this year, but who knows?
MACHINIMA
Boy I fucked this one up. Did not get even a SINGLE THING done for Not Alone 3 last year.
I think I have unfortunately just hit a wall. Machinima seems surprisingly intimidating now. Every time I think to go work on it, it just feels too daunting, and I retreat. I’m not sure if I’ll have the time to get past this anytime soon. I guess we’ll see. 2020 just fucked everything up.
IN CONCLUSION
Let’s wrap it up.
Here’s a shortlist of things I really hope to do this year.
Finish Episode Three of The DOOM Chronicles, and then put it back to sleep for awhile. At least another year.
Finish The Will To Live. This is definitely within reach.
Finish Episode One of Nerves of Steele.
Start and finish Bishop’s Lament. It’s a big one, though, bigger than Bishop’s War, so at the very least we’ll start it, not sure about the finish.
Do SOMETHING for Machinima.
Post polished & edited versions of a handful of my older works, including the 2013 rewrite of Dreary.
Start and maybe finish SOMETHING that isn’t Halo, DOOM, or Half-Life related. Not sure what. We’ll see.
That’s it really. I hope 2021 is better for all of us. Honestly, it needs to be.