April was a nightmare.
Short reason: I was coming down off of meds.
Longer reason: I’ve been on a medication called Bupropion for like 5 years now. Besides being an antidepressant, it boosts energy. I tried getting off of it in 2017 because I thought it might not be doing anything for me any longer. I was wrong and got back on. This time around, I’ve since had a genetic test and learned I’m severely deficient in…something. I can’t remember now. But basically being deficient in it makes you sad, and the supplement I started taking gave me the proper amount, which helped with the depression.
I talked with my doctor about it (to be clear, both times, I didn’t just up and decide to do this either time), and decided to come down off the Bupropion. That began near the beginning of the month. The LAST time I tried this, all I had to deal with was a bottoming out of motivation. THIS fucking time however, I got SLAMMED with bouts of dizziness, which were annoying, and severe mood-swings, which were awful. Like, it was pretty bad.
What I’ve learned is that I’m stuck with the drug because my motivation bottomed out again. So I’m going to get back on it very soon. Hopefully this will perk me up for this month.
I at least managed to get a few DOOM chapters out the door in April.
For May, I am just putting The Will To Live back on hold until I wrap up the current Part of Episode Three in The DOOM Chronicles. Once Part 2 is wrapped up, I’ll go wrap up Part 3 of The Will To Live, then put it back on hold, write out Part 3 of Episode 3, then switch back over to The Will To Live and get Part 4, and the story as a whole, wrapped up. After that I’ll probably try and hammer away on Episode 3 of The DOOM Chronicles until it’s done. And THEN I can FINALLY return my attention to Nerves of Steele, for God’s sake. What a mistake starting that was.
I’m really hoping May will be a more productive month, but we’ll see how it turns out. Everything is just so crazy right now, and that’s making my anxiety go crazy on top of just regular anxiety. Either way, I hope everyone’s doing okay out there.